Braun Issues World Class Apology

Chances are Ryan Braun will not be winning any "upstanding citizens" awards in the near future.

I do not understand how people can look someone straight in the face and lie. Worse yet, how they can rope others into supporting their lie and use said lie to ruin the lives of others (maybe I should ask Lance Armstrong if he grants me my interview request). I have no respect for someone like Braun (not that he or his $100M cares) and would like to see cheaters like him banned from the game.

Yesterday, after his months of vehement denials, Braun offered the following comical apology (though what he is apologizing for, I am not quite sure):

"As I have acknowledged in the past, I am not perfect. I realize now that I have made some mistakes. I am willing to accept the consequences of those actions. This situation has taken a toll on me and my entire family, and it ... has been a distraction to my teammates and the Brewers organization.
I am very grateful for the support I have received from players, ownership and the fans in Milwaukee and around the country. Finally, I wish to apologize to anyone I may have disappointed -- all of the baseball fans especially those in Milwaukee, the great Brewers organization, and my teammates. I am glad to have this matter behind me once and for all, and I cannot wait to get back to the game I love."

Hmmm.....

As I have acknowledged in the past, I am not perfect.

Is he trying to make us feel sorry for him? When did he say he wasn't perfect?

I realize now that I have made some mistakes.

Now? What the hell took so long? You mean, now that you have no way out, you admit it? And what is/are the mistakes you refer to Ryan?

I am willing to accept the consequences of those actions.

Well that is very stand up of you now.

This situation has taken a toll on me and my entire family, and it ... has been a distraction to my teammates and the Brewers organization.

Well only you are to blame for that.

I am very grateful for the support I have received from players, ownership and the fans in Milwaukee and around the country.

I am sure you are. Especially the organization that will pay you $100+ million more over the upcoming years despite you dragging them through the mud.

Finally, I wish to apologize to anyone I may have disappointed

Not sure I have seen a weaker and less contrite apology...ever. Pete Rose thinks this was a poor apology. Where was the mention of the tester who's life you ruined? What about the people that put their neck on the line for you and now look like idiots (hello Aaron Rodgers - how is your crow tasting today?).

I am glad to have this matter behind me once and for all, and I cannot wait to get back to the game I love.

Yup, this awesome and sincere apology will certainly put this one in the rearview mirror. I'm pretty sure this will make everyone forget about this "mistake." I bet the HOF voters have already forgot this and have you back on their ballots. As far as "getting back to the game you love," good for you. I highly doubt the game, it's fans, nor it's players hold the same feeling.

Maybe in his time off, Braun can figure out a way to pull the needle out of his ass and his head out of the clouds. I for one will be hoping Braun stays on his MLB approved "vacation" for the rest of his career.